How to land your message at work - A three-word framework

Have you ever left a meeting knowing exactly what you should have said about ten minutes too late? I have.

Some people are naturally quick on their feet. Sadly, I am not one of them. Earlier in my career, if someone caught me off guard, I would waffle while trying to sound confident. By the time I had worked out what I really wanted to say, my audience had moved on. Literally, in some cases.

Why most messages fail before they start

Here's something nobody tells you early enough in your career: your message can fail before you've said a single word. The problem is not always the idea. Often, it is that you have not decided exactly what you want to achieve, who needs to hear your message and how best to present it.

I now prepare for important workplace conversations using three simple questions:

• What?

• Who?

• How?

They don't guarantee that someone agrees with you. They will, however, help you get your message across.

Not every workplace conversation needs careful preparation. But it is worth stopping to think before a conversation involving an important decision, disagreement, request or risk.

That preparation begins with what.

What: Decide what you want to achieve

Start by asking yourself what you want to achieve. Have only one clear-cut and specific objective for success. I find it useful to ask myself questions.

Here are a couple to start with, but I am sure you will think of your own:

• What do I want from the conversation?

• What point(s) do I want to raise?

• What decision, action or response do I need?

Over the years I have come to realise that my biggest communication failures were when I was unclear on the outcome I wanted or, worse, had mixed objectives. When you mix objectives, your message becomes unclear. You may also find yourself reacting emotionally to something that is not essential to the outcome you need.

Be disciplined. Decide what success looks like before you begin.

Who: Understand who needs to hear your message

Selecting who the right person is to achieve the outcome you have identified is the next step. Sometimes you can choose the right person, and other times the person is already determined, such as your manager, customer, colleague, or project sponsor.

Either way, you need to consider the conversation from their perspective. Try to put yourself in their mind and try to think like them.

Ask yourself:

• What do they already know?

• What matters to them?

• What pressures or priorities might affect their response?

I once worked for a boss who was great to work for but had a very limited attention span. You had to establish your point quickly or he would move on to another subject. This focused my mind. I learnt to begin with the issue or decision rather than a long history of how I had arrived there.

I did not always succeed. When I lost his attention, I usually walked away and tried again another day. There was no value in trying to push my point once he had lost focus. Knowing your audience includes recognising when the moment is wrong.

How: Choose how to make your point

Once you know what you want and who you need to reach, decide how to present your message.

Start with the main point, a relevant question or the decision you need. Your opening does not have to be dramatic or amusing. It simply needs to give your audience a reason to listen.

In a presentation, that might be a short story, an unexpected fact or a challenging question.

In a one-to-one workplace conversation, the best opening is often more direct:

• “I need your decision on…”

• “I have identified a risk that could affect…”

• “I would like your approval to…”

• “Can we agree how we are going to…”

Once you have established the point, provide enough explanation and evidence to support it. If you asked a question, make sure you answer it. Avoid burying the listener in every fact you have. Don't forget to always use simple language and not business BS-speak. That gets seen through instantly.

An example: Asking about career progression

Imagine that you believe you are ready for more responsibility. So you want to discuss promotion with your manager. It would be easy to begin by listing everything you have achieved or comparing yourself with colleagues who have already been promoted.

You might say something like:

“I have been here for three years. If there is no promotion available, I will have to think about my future.”

That may be a genuine expression of frustration, but it can come across as an ultimatum. You’ve opened the door to the possibility of leaving before you’ve established what you want your manager to do. Apply the three questions instead.

What: You want to agree what you need to demonstrate to be considered for promotion and when progress will be reviewed.

Who: Your manager may support your development but will also need evidence, an available role and possibly approval from other people.

How: Lead with your objective and ask for specific criteria.

You might now say instead:

“I would like to be considered for a more senior role. Can we discuss what I would need to demonstrate and agree on a realistic date for reviewing my progress?”

You can then provide evidence of your achievements, ask where your manager sees gaps and agree on some measurable next steps.

Finish with a clear request:

“Can we record the three things I need to demonstrate and review them together in three months?”

This does not guarantee a promotion. It does, however, turn a vague ambition into a constructive conversation with an agreed next step. It also avoids accidentally making your continued employment sound conditional.

The close: Ask for what you want

The close is the step people most often forget. They explain the problem, provide the background and describe the possible solution but never actually ask for anything.

Your close might ask for an action:

• “Can you approve this by Friday?”

• “Which of these options would you like me to pursue?”

• “Can we agree a date to review progress?”

Or it might ask for a reaction:

• “What concerns would you need me to address?”

• “Does this fit with your understanding of the situation?”

• “What would prevent us from moving ahead?”

A good close should connect directly to the outcome you identified at the beginning. If you cannot express your request clearly, you may not yet be clear about what you want.

How 'what', 'who' and 'how' work with SAFE

What, Who and How help you plan the direction of a conversation.

The Work Survival SAFE Method helps you construct the message:

• Situation: What is happening?

• Alternatives: What realistic options are available?

• Firm Words: How can you be clear without sounding threatening or ambiguous?

• Evidence: What facts support your position?

Suppose you are raising a serious workplace concern. What, who and how help you identify the outcome, the appropriate person and the best approach.

SAFE then helps you explain the situation, consider the alternatives, choose your words carefully and support your position with evidence.

Used together, these can help you communicate firmly without accidentally turning workplace pressure into an ultimatum or walking into the resignation trap.